This Is Not Better
by backinthebox
Summary: They had a deal, but the Barden Bellas' presence at The Lodge at Fallen Leaves was proof that the deal fell through. [Sequel to Mixing the Bitter With the Sweet.]


Follows the Back to Basics scene in the second movie. With major references to Mixing the Bitter With the Sweet. Mentioned Staubrey, and hints of one-sided Bechloe.

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* * *

Beca was on her way back to the tent that the Barden Bellas were staying in while they were marooned in The Lodge at Fallen Leaves, when her arm was forcibly grabbed, and she was dragged across the campsite away from the rest of her fellow Barden Bellas. "Ow! What the mother—"

"Don't." Aubrey said menacingly, continuing to pull her further away from the Bellas camp.

"Aubrey, what is your damage?" Beca demanded, trying unsuccessfully to pull her arm away from Aubrey's grip.

"Keep yelling, and I'm gonna toss you into another bear trap. You want that, Samwise?"

"Does that make you Legolas, or Aragorn?" Beca asked.

"That makes me the girl that isn't pleased with you right now." Aubrey replied.

"Yeah, okay, but how am I the sidekick?"

"Well, you're definitely not good enough to be Frodo." Aubrey noted. "I can call you Pippin or Merry."

"Sam is fine." Beca said quickly.

Neither of them mentioned why they were familiar with names of characters from The Lord of the Rings.

Finally, they got to a clearing that Beca correctly surmised was a golfing range, judging from the giant net on one side, where there wasn't a single soul within at least a twenty-foot radius. Beca momentarily feared for her life.

Aubrey released her. "What's going on?"

Beca gave her a wary look. "How could you have missed all the yelling that happened earlier?"

"I missed the part where you explain why Chloe's at the center of all your misplaced aggression."

Beca grimaced. "That's not…"

"No? That wasn't you, yelling at Chloe earlier?"

"She yelled at me, too!" Beca countered.

Aubrey gave her a pointed look. "Like I care that someone yelled at you."

"I care!" Beca said defensively.

Okay, she actually kind of cared, too, but Aubrey was still disappointed that something she'd hoped would finally come out of the Chloe-Beca showdown hadn't been revealed, and she needed to vent in productive ways. Hence, Beca. "We had a deal, Beca."

"The 'deal' did not include Chloe having a breakdown because Fat Amy chooses not to wear underwear." Beca argued, recalling her own promise to Aubrey, three years ago, that she and the rest of the Bellas would look out for Chloe in Aubrey's absence. Their presence in The Lodge at Fallen Leaves was a testament to the failure of said promise.

"Yes, let's discuss why you're letting your members walk around without their underwear."

Beca paused, and eyed Aubrey critically. "Really? The girl dating Stacie and banged her girlfriend mere hours of our arrival wants to complain about Bellas not wearing underwear?"

Aubrey stopped short, and conceded that point, but quickly recovered. "National television, Beca! In front of the President."

"Yeah, that… That wasn't one of our best moments." Beca agreed.

Aubrey scoffed. "You think?"

"It was a mistake! Why can't people just get over that!" Beca exclaimed, annoyed at the fact that her entire experience with the Barden Bellas were being overruled by a single mistake, and a mistake that wasn't even her fault. She loathed the fact that she even needed to expound on that point. "This is more than just about underwear and singing, Aubrey!"

" _I know,_ " Aubrey reminded. "And you know I know. Why do you think you're here?"

"It's not to suffer your own special brand of psycho!" Beca retorted.

"You're just butt-hurt because you were the one who was in a bear trap." Aubrey waved off Beca's accusation dismissively.

"About that," Beca gave her a look of incredulity. " _Bear traps?_ "

"And have I mentioned the part where you insulted my methods of team-building?" Aubrey continued.

"None of those songs were going to win us Worlds!" Beca snapped.

"And us singing Just the Way You Are and Just A Dream won us the ICCAs?" Aubrey reminded.

Beca stalled on her next indignant protest, and frowned. "That was different."

"How?" Aubrey questioned.

"We were rediscovering what the Bellas sound was!" Beca pointed out. She glared at Aubrey. "You making us sing show tunes is most definitely _not_ helping us find our sound."

"Okay, fine. But have you been listening to Let's Talk-Appella at all lately?" Aubrey shot back. "Because I have. And, I don't know, _Beca_ , dare we discuss the matter of your most recent disastrous performance?"

"That's… not my fault." Beca protested.

"You're Bellas captain."

She didn't know why Aubrey thought she needed to be told, as if the pressure she was under wasn't enough of a constant reminder. "So is Chloe but I don't see you yelling at her."

"I'll get to Chloe later. Right now, I'm thinking I need to deal with you." Aubrey rubbed her temples with her fingers, grimacing, before she focused on Beca. "You're not doing breakdowns anymore."

"Everyone knows their—" Beca began, but was cut short by Aubrey raising her hand in a 'stop' gesture.

"I know everyone knows their parts, Beca, the girls are very good at their parts. But a cappella is more than that." Aubrey pointed out. "It's not just having fun, singing in harmony with your friends."

Beca started to protest, but then closed her mouth shut, realizing what Aubrey was driving at: the Bellas all knew their parts, and improvisation worked well for them, but they had become complacent in their abilities. For the past few years the road to the ICCA finals had been about fun, about winning, and now that they weren't invincible anymore, they were floundering.

"It's worked for three years." Beca argued softly.

"It's been working." Aubrey agreed. "But at one point you, as a group, decided that you needed Fat Amy in suspension singing Wrecking Ball."

"Okay, that was an obvious error in judgment." Beca acquiesced.

"More to the point," Aubrey breezed right through, "The Bellas are great. And you were a major part in getting them to where they are now. But someone somewhere lost the plot, and the _show_ became more important than the performance."

"Isn't that the important thing?" Beca asked weakly, even though she didn't really believe it, either.

Because the answer was 'No', and they both knew it. There had been a reason why their first few rehearsals back in the day had been about the fundamentals, the breakdown of each part, until they had that down to the point that Aubrey and Chloe would bring them together as a unified whole. In hindsight, Beca couldn't remember the last time that the Bellas spent an entire rehearsal period just working on the basics.

"The Bellas who needed studded costumes and elaborate stunts won't win Worlds against DSM." Aubrey reminded. "You would all have vilified me if I'd made you do that three years ago."

True. And they probably would have found some enjoyment in vilifying Aubrey for the sake of it.

Beca looked away, unable to look Aubrey in the eye because just as she'd questioned Aubrey relentlessly during the older girl's tenure as Bellas captain, it sucked to be on the receiving end of a similar barrage of questions. Beca realized idly that she was understanding why people said karma was a bitch.

"Beca?" Aubrey asked carefully, her voice gentle. "Do you want to win Worlds?"

Beca jumped, startled at the inquiry, but mostly because of the nature of the question. "What?"

"Do you want to win Worlds?" Aubrey repeated.

"The Bellas–"

"Not the Bellas. _You_. Does _Beca Mitchell_ want to win Worlds?"

Beca shrugged, and sighed. "I guess."

Aubrey looked at her for a long moment, obviously trying to get an accurate read on the smaller girl, before she sighed and shook her head. "This is worse than expected."

"I just…" Beca shook her head, and paused. "This is weird, talking to you."

"I feel your pain." Aubrey acknowledged, returning the sentiment.

"I just want to graduate on a high, OK? I want the girls to go out winners, for Emily to have the taste for victory, for Chloe to get what she wants so she can finally just _graduate_." Beca finally voiced out. "And she wants to win Worlds, and it turns out I'm great at mashups for collegiate a cappella, but not good enough to become a professional record producer, and DSM are like real professionals, and I don't know how I can make this happen. And I know, I _know_ , if I can just figure out how to make one thing work, I can figure the rest out, but I have nothing. _Nothing_ , Aubrey. I'm stuck, and we're here, and, oh my God, I'm sharing feelings with you, and this is not how I saw this weekend panning out." She stopped to take a deep breath, and noticed Aubrey checking her phone. "Seriously?"

Aubrey glanced up at her. "Are you done?"

"Are you getting internet here, because you need to figure out your connectivity issues." Momentarily distracted, Beca also took out her phone, and frowned at the lack of a signal. She reached for Aubrey's, but the blonde pulled her phone out of reach.

Aubrey gave her a grim smile, pocketing her phone. "Focus. You have to want to win Worlds for yourself."

"I want to win Worlds." Beca said defensively.

"Do you, really? Because nothing you just said tells me that you actually do. Those girls are bending over backwards, working their butts off, and you can't even find the time to tell them they have to cover your slack."

"I'm not—" Beca began, then stopped, then tried again. "I don't want to let them down, OK? I know how much this means to them, and…" She groaned. "You managed! You had an internship, and were on the Dean's List, and you were getting us through the ICCAs. That worked out."

Aubrey frowned as she considered that statement thoughtfully. "You and I remember that year very differently."

Beca shook her head and explained. "Sure, you neared a nervous breakdown and the Bellas got to the finals on a technicality, but you were our leader. You kept us together pretty OK, even if you weren't. I'm just trying to do the same thing."

Aubrey sighed and glanced away, gazing out to the tree line as she thought about what Beca was telling her, remembering aspects of the time Beca was referring to, and trying to think back on how she'd felt, when she had been captain of the Barden Bellas and very nearly cost all of them everything. She returned her gaze to Beca. "Do you remember that day I showed you the Bella house?"

Beca gave her a wry look. _Of course_ she remembered. "When you told me I could have been living all year in a house with my friends instead of the icy hatred of Kimmy Jin?"

Aubrey returned the look. "When I told you not to screw up as Bellas captain."

Properly chastised, Beca looked down. "You said teams take on the characteristics of their leaders."

"I told you you were gonna have to stop being _Beca_ and be someone better." Aubrey added. She motioned to Beca, who still had twigs and leaves in her hair from her earlier encounter with the bear trap. " _This_ is not 'better'."

"I know!" Beca exclaimed in annoyance. "I _know_ , OK? I'm trying, but this? Worlds? DSM? I don't know how, and I can't… They're looking to me, and _I don't_ _know_."

Aubrey sighed, familiar with that feeling of helplessness, and figured she could at least try and help Beca figure a few things out. "Okay. One at a time. Tell me about DSM."

"What, Stacie hasn't given you the full profile on all things Das Sound Machine and how much they can kick our ass?" Beca retorted.

"Her opinions on DSM are different from yours. I want to hear yours."

Beca sighed, and threw her hands up. "They're… DSM. World champions, back-to-back. Kommissar is… _incredible_ , Pieter holds his own, their beatboxer is out of this world. Their set? It's textured, and their transitions are amazing, like you don't even realize it's a remix or mashup. And then when they sing it's just, like, a wall of sound. Like, a literal _wall_."

"Can't break through it?"

Beca shook her head. "If I had more people, probably, but…"

"Mm-hmm. Yeah, can't help you with that. Stacie says we're still years away from successful human cloning." Aubrey crossed her arms across her chest and looked down thoughtfully.

Beca glanced at her. "Okay, no human cloning. Given the current team, what do you suggest?"

Aubrey gave her a weary look.

Beca sighed, accepting the gentle rebuke, remembering and repeating Aubrey's words earlier. "Break things down before building them back up again." She looked away, gazing past Aubrey to where she could see the tent where the Bellas were staying.

It had been so simple, that day in the Dean's office: Compete at the Worlds Championship of A Cappella, win it, be reinstated to the ICCAs. They had won the ICCAs for three straight years, broken new ground and set records, winning Worlds had seemed like an easy feat to achieve. But since that day, everything they had known, everything they were as the Barden Bellas, had given way to their insecurities and their doubts. Beca's words, that there were other important things, things like school, jobs and _life_ , had imposed itself into their heretofore simple and idealistic lives.

The fact that if they didn't win Worlds, that the Bellas would be completely disbanded, was a lot to carry around.

Because the Barden Bellas had given her a camaraderie, a group of friends she hadn't known she'd wanted or needed, and knew that most of the girls felt the same way. And if the only way to ensure that the Bellas lived on, that the legacy and sisterhood continued even after they graduated, was to win the World Championships?

"Of course I want to win Worlds." Beca stated quietly, a soft declaration that was also partly an epiphany.

"Good."

Beca turned to Aubrey.

Aubrey shrugged. "Because, you know, as terrible as it would be if the Bellas don't get reinstated, and stop being eligible to compete at the ICCAs, it doesn't have to be the end of the Barden Bellas. We can fight the ruling on total disbandment, and The High Notes and BU Harmonics sing for the fun of it."

Beca stared at her, wondering who or what this Aubrey-looking _thing_ in front of her was, and admitted, "You're kind of freaking me out right now: that shit actually sounds comforting."

"Is it working?"

Beca considered. "Little bit."

Aubrey nodded. "Good, because I'm totally lying. If the Bellas don't get reinstated I'm giving the alumni your phone number."

Beca frowned, her expression reflecting the fact that she'd never received a single phone call from the Bellas alumni.

Aubrey noticed. "Have you and Chloe never tried to get in touch with the alumni?"

"Are we allowed to do that?"

"It's on the board!"

The same board that outlined the building blocks to a cappella success for the Barden Bellas and blatantly stated "NO TREBLES" under the relationship block.

"I try not to look at the board!"

Aubrey stared at her, and briefly wondered if strangling Beca was worth the effort, but ultimately decided to let the matter pass for the moment. "Why aren't you asking for help?"

"I don't know." Beca admitted, defeated. "Everyone has so much on their plate. I know I was being unfair earlier, accusing them that I'm the only one thinking of life after the Bellas. It just feels like it sometimes." She sighed. "I want to win, I do, but… I don't know how, and I don't want to fail."

"The how…" Aubrey paused. She didn't have the answer to that, either.

"And then there's Chloe, and she acts like, I don't know, like the Bellas are the only thing she has, which is ridiculous because she has so much to offer, and I just want to do _this one thing_ , and maybe she can finally figure out what she wants and graduate." Beca shook her head. "She's counting on the Worlds, the Bellas are everything to her, and I don't know what she'll do if we screw up."

"Beca. We all join the Barden Bellas for our own reasons." Aubrey reminded. "This, what you're all going through right now? Maybe some of them want to leave college on a high, or create a Bella legacy, or even have one last victory for the Barden Bellas, _something_."

"Chloe talks about it like it's do or die."

"I know." Aubrey shook her head. "I think Chloe needs it to justify why she's been in college for so long, which…" Aubrey let her voice trail off, because the Chloe Beale dilemma was a whole other issue she needed to deal with.

Beca looked up at her, knowing full well the goings-on of the Aubrey/Chloe situation. "She misses you, you know."

Aubrey smiled weakly, and nodded. "I miss her too. I just… I'm not sure where we are right now, and what to say to her, after everything and given what's going on."

"Maybe she's the one who needs to talk?" Beca suggested. "I mean, just a guess. But we see her every day and it's only since this disaster started that she actually admitted she failed Russian Lit three times on purpose."

Aubrey scoffed. "Russian Lit."

"I mean, I know the Bellas are important, but…"

Aubrey paused as Beca's words registered, and she turned and stared at Beca. "Really?"

Beca hesitated, then nodded. "Uh, yeah. When we had our meeting with the Dean and were told we couldn't compete at the collegiate level."

Aubrey shook her head, but her gaze remained focused on Beca. "You really think this is about the Bellas?"

"Yeah, and you told me as much, remember?" Beca reminded, uncomfortable under Aubrey's scrutiny. "Joy of performing, or whatnot."

Aubrey stared at her for a longer beat, before she shook her head again and looked away, as if she couldn't stand the sight of Beca.

Beca was confused at the dismissive action. Was she missing something? "What?"

"I'll deal with Chloe." Aubrey finally declared, focusing her gaze on the Bellas tent, mentally gathering the courage and strength of will to do as she said. "Figure this out. But as for your other problem? Your future career prospect?"

"Yeah?"

Aubrey spared her a glance. "You're screwed."

"Thanks." Beca said wryly, wondering why she had actually expected words of wisdom from Aubrey Posen.

"And you need to stop."

"I can't just—"

"Beca." Aubrey cut in. "Just stop."

"If you tell me to take a deep breath, I swear, I'll—"

"Still unable to follow directions?" Aubrey asked wearily. "Although, I don't know why I'm surprised, you literally walked into a bear trap earlier."

"Screw you, Aubrey."

"Shut up, I'm about to give you career advice."

"From the girl who quit a six-figure annual salary to run a glorified spa?" Beca retorted.

Aubrey held up a hand to cut off Beca's protests, because she knew full well that both she and Beca were compelled to have the last word on everything. "Beca: You do mixes and mashups. There isn't a shortage of parties and clubs who will pay for you to do just that. But you're talented; Maybe you don't have a clue of what your sound is now, but you will. But it'll take more than just you sitting in front of _your_ laptop and listening to _your_ mixes to figure that out. Every DJ who became a record producer became famous when they found someone they could work with. There are a lot of DJs who found their sound only after an artist they made a mix for wanted to start working with them."

Beca gave her a confused look. "You only listen to pop radio, sometimes from the time before _actual_ radio. How do you even know any of that?"

"I did a consultancy for a record company before. I had to study their portfolio and history before I met them."

"Really?" Beca asked in disbelief.

"Bet you wish you were nicer to me just now, don't you."

Beca hesitated, then started to move forward for a hug.

Aubrey swiftly moved away. "Don't touch me. I know what we put on those leaves to distract the bears if they get caught."

Beca froze, then stared down at herself before she looked up and stared at her. "Are you kidding me right now?"

Aubrey glanced at her watch. "Look at the time. Have to go."

"No, dude, what's in those leaves?" Beca asked, alarmed, as Aubrey walked past her to leave. "Just honey and stuff, right?"

"Get back to your group, Beca." Aubrey waved her hand over her shoulder, dismissing Beca's curiosity and indignation. "And watch for those bear traps."

"Aubrey!"


End file.
